It was getting late, the sun had already set over the mountains, most of the staff had gone home… except for a few of us…

Sitting in the boardroom of the start up hospital I worked at. All of us were chewing quietly on the same question… .there had to be a better way…

There we were, a few other directors, a couple senior executives, and me… brainstorming what we could do to help improve the lives of the employees during this intense time.

While I can’t speak for everyone, my sense was that we were all starving for balance. I know I was….but it was a mirage…

At least at the present time… I was hired to open, hire and staff- six patient care departments for a now 284 Bed Hospital.

I knew it would be challenging, but I still wanted to believe there was something else “we”...I mean...”I” could do to get my time and life back.

We all went a few rounds on how to bridge more balance into our lives… all great ideas… but totally unrealistic given our current situation… so nothing stuck…

Right intention… wrong time.

We all said goodnight, drove home only to be back again, as the crack of the sun was peeking back over the mountain range.

It never came up in conversation again….

But I never put it down and kept it quietly tucked away in the corner of my thoughts.

I hated how I felt so over extended and the relentless pressure… I never wanted to feel that way again.

It was the most challenging job I’ve ever had and one of the best because of what I learned and how I grew.

I loved my work, I just didn’t love how I felt when I couldn’t get away from it. But quitting never crossed my mind.

I’d still be thinking about work when I left…. And all the things I had to do the next day

Yes I had systems.
Yes I was building a great team.
I also was very active and worked out, did yoga and did meditation...and ran.
And I had amazing supportive relationships

All of it helped.. Temporarily

Honestly I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been if I didn't have all that.

But none of it stopped the racing thoughts….
the replays of difficult conversations…
the building tension in my shoulders…
The pressure I felt from juggling all things that needed to get done…

To be fair, this was nothing new for me.. It’s how I metabolized my stress. It was just intensified being in the environment I was in.

My go to at the time was to just power through when challenge, stress, high intensity, or just life hit.

It’s how I got my masters while working full time.
It’s how I trained for marathons… sometimes I did 3x a year
It’s how I did everything…

But I would imagine you know this already… as a fellow high performer.

I just didn’t know how to do it any differently.
So I made it my personal mission to find another way….

Over the years, I keep looking “outside” me to find the balance… the company I worked for… taking a vacation…. trying the latest hack…

But I couldn’t have been more wrong..

The balance was not outside … it was me… I was the problem …

I was creating the imbalance.

Not my intense job.
Not my marriage..
Not being a parent and trying to juggle work/life/ aging parents etc..….

But I wouldn’t figure it out till 2 jobs later, having two kids, a 10 year marriage, and starting my own business.

Collecting pieces of the puzzle all along the way… never letting go of the seed that was planted so many years ago in that boardroom.

The seed that started with background in kinesiology.. my love of yoga and breathwork, my deep desire to go deeper with my own growth… my passion in martial arts.. working with master teachers… doing different types of therapy…

It finally all came together.. When I realized I had a choice to do it differently. I didn’t have to use my “power-through tool” for everything.

I could do it differently.

Initially it sucked when I realized it was me because I had been creating alot of suffering for myself for years.. And didn’t realize it…

but it was also very freeing because then I could do something about it…

The R5 Method was born. It fundamentally changed how I responded to my environment, challenges, growth, life, transitions, no matter how busy I am on the outside…

I can always find my way back to my (inner balance)... and operate from there.

It changed my life and I’ve been teaching entrepreneurs, creators and executives and their teams how to do it ever since.